One small step backward for man, one giant leap backward for kind men.

Inverting the famous words Neil Armstrong uttered after walking on the moon a half-century ago feels appropriate in the aftermath of the Will Smith slap heard ‘round the world.

For many years, I led batterer intervention groups, working with men either mandated by the courts to address their domestic abuse issues and others who were “mandated” by their partners to get help or get out. Group leaders regularly heard men reluctantly admitting—or actively denying—that they’d abused their partners. From time to time there’d be stories not too dissimilar to Will Smith’s: physically and/or verbally assaulting someone they knew.